Being married is awesome–a tribute of 15 years

Today is Dennis and my 15th anniversary.  We aren’t really celebrating it in a big way.  There are no presents or going out tonight. We don’t have kids and the dogs think it is just any other weekday. I cleaned the fridge in prep for my trip and I’m waiting to hear back from my publisher about something. Dennis is at work and has a dentist appointment today.  We will be having a quiet dinner at home. I am making pork chops, spaghetti with Alfredo sauce, broccoli, a yellow cake with chocolate icing.  We have dessert nearly every night, so while I am making things Dennis likes: even the cake does’ t really make it a special meal. This has no bearing on our relationship. After all, we eat out once or twice a week and I leave in 52 hours.

For those who don’t know me well. Dennis and I met right before my senior year in high school at End Fest 1994. He was working full-time at a local computer store. My friend was a friend to the guys he was hanging out with and so we danced. Dennis was smitten that day. It took me a few months to come around. After all I was 18, he was 21.

Dennis is introverted, a bit of a homebody, intelligent, and honest. One day: I learned that though he was not my adolescent ideal of romantic love, he is perfect… for me.

There never was tit for tat. We don’t keep points. No games. When one of us is hurt or angry, we just say so. If one of us wants something, we just tell the other person. He wanted a strong, independent, creative, and apparently slightly insane woman. He wanted me–not who I thought I was supposed to be. So when I figured that out, my thought was: “I can hang with him.”

We are the first to admit, that we’ve been extremely lucky.

While we have both lost jobs, but both been able to find employment within a reasonable time period. We both have been in fairly good health and so has our dogs. I have found some success as an artist and writer and he has been very successful as a system administrator. Accidents happen and things don’t always work out like we planned, but we have always faced those challenges together. There is rarely blame cast upon one or the other; because that simply isn’t practical or constructive.

When I do get blue or neurotic, he teases me out of bad moods. He handles the ones that aren’t even real. I cry over a scene that I wrote or second guess myself over the violence in a story. Dennis is always there to listen. And when Dennis has a bad day at work–he talks to me about it. He does not have to carry the burden alone.

We have always had shared dreams even when they are separate dreams. Things that we could work towards together. One of our shared dreams was Dennis and I wanted a place that we could paint any color we wanted, but neither of us enjoy yard work so we knew we didn’t want a big house. Instead we bought a condo in the city together. The living room is forest green, the bedroom is blue.

Many of my goals are coming to fruition this year. My first novel is being published, I am going to spend 6 weeks backpacking in Europe, Dennis is a major contributor in making those things happen.

Dennis has no interest in traveling or hiking; but that doesn’t mean he stops me from experiencing those things. (And on the same vein: I do not expect him to drop everything he cares about to go with me.) For those who don’t get us, that’s ok. You don’t have to. All that you need to know is Dennis is the greatest husband in the world for me. I believe that he would say the same (obviously substituting the word wife)

15 years have flown by, simply because being married is great.




One response to this post.

  1. Posted by Sofia Essen on September 7, 2011 at 11:03 pm

    “I can hang with him” – I think that’s one of the best compliments I’ve heard someone give their spouse.

    Congratulations to both of you!


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