Other Systems: Deleted Scene #1: The Quarrel

So last week I showed the Other Systems FAQ which included the question: why didn’t Harden fight more to get Abby off the ship.

As I said, there was an argument between Harden and Helen, but the scene was deleted from the 2nd draft because neither character was a Point of view character and there is no way for the two POV characters to know about this conversation. More importantly, while it is an interesting scene, it doesn’t explain anything that the reader doesn’t find out in other ways. Still I think people will enjoy it which is why I asked my publisher if I could show some of the deleted scenes from Other Systems. These scenes are actual full scenes, not just sentences or paragraphs which were pulled out of the novel. They have been self edited and looked at by the good folks in my writing group, but have not been edited by my editors at 48Fourteen as they are not part of the novel.

Lathos: a small tidal locked planet circling the red dwarf Kokadelfi. While Lathos has a breathable atmosphere, it does not have the bio-diversity to support long term human colonies.

• However even this is a deleted scene and not in the book: it is still part of the Other Systems Universe and is copyrighted along side the book. (If you are wondering why I copyrighteverything: I learned to do that after I wrote Famine Lands the Carp’s Eye and then we released a digital copy with “extras.” Then I realized I had to copyright the short story as well as the extras. I ended up confusing myself and the nice people at Copyright Offices. Now I just do everything at once.)

• Parental Warnings: Other Systems is an adult novel. Harden has a potty mouth and the scene discusses the dark side of the Kipos Immigration and Reproduction Laws. 

• Spoiler Warning: This scene is about 1/3 the way through the book. So if you haven’t read it and do not want any plot points revealed do not read this scene. For those who have read the novel, you will see the first part of the scene and the medical exam have been rewritten from Abby’s point of view.

So if you still want to read it click on the link below and it will bring up a PDF.

Deleted Scene_Quarrel

I hope you like it!