Here is another scene which I think people will enjoy. Once again, these scenes have been self edited and looked at by the good folks in my writing group, but have not been edited by my editors at 48Fourteen as they are not part of the novel.
As I said before even this is a deleted scene and not in the book: it is still part of the Other Systems Universe and is copyrighted along side the book.
- Parental Warnings: Other Systems is an adult novel, however this scene is one that almost anyone can read. In fact, it is one of the few scenes where Harden does not use the f-word– the harshest word is “Crap!” And that is from Abby.
Spoiler Warning: This scene was originally in with Abby’s flight instruction which is about 1/2 the way through the book. So if you haven’t read it and do not want any plot points revealed do not read this scene. In fact quit reading right now!
I cut this scene because it is what is known as a “little darling.” Meaning it really doesn’t add anything to the narrative: it is about the making and eating of pancakes. The reader knows that due to the stresses of flight, Abby is constantly hungry and exhausted. Other issues with it: 1) It changes point of views at the end. 2) It has alliteration issues. 3) It shows Harden and Brian getting attached to Abby too early. Ultimately when this scene was cut, I wrote the “beach scene” in order to have the same idea later in the book when it was more appropiate.
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