Hell no, I don’t want a billionaire to ravish me.

Caution: Mom do not read this blog post. Well, you’re an adult, so go ahead and read it if you want, but I’m warning you now, I’m explaining my viewpoint on romantic or erotic literature with jerks as male love interests. Also I know I have written about this topic before and it wasn’t the most popular post…

The reason I’m bringing it up today is a super confused guy mentioned, “Girls want to be ravished by billionaires.”

No, I’m not kidding. Btw, he wasn’t saying this with any disrespect and obviously expected me to understand the reference.

First of all: Any generalization about 50% of the population is likely to be wrong.

I told Super-Confused-Guy in no uncertain terms I DO NOT want to be ravished by a billionaire. Not even in fantasy. So here is my warning to billionaires and other super special snowflakes that make up book boyfriends: if you try to ravish me, I’m calling the cops. Sorry, but I’m pragmatic like that.

I am in a monogamous marriage, but I’m an active partner. Being the female does not make me passive or submissive. During sex, I give my consent (and so does my husband btw) I am not plied into doing anything I don’t want, nor would I ever force my husband to do something he doesn’t want. There is no gray area.

Secondly, my favorite books deal with personal relationships as well as other ideas or themes. I am not a huge reader of romance or erotica and tend to read them as an author which means I am breaking it down. However, I do have a lot of respect for the genres for their ability to hold tension.

But no matter what the genre: “Alphas” who intimidate women or make decisions for them can step the f*** off. In books, they steal kisses or “play” threaten or actually use physical violence. They push alcohol to ply their victims into doing what they want. They push for commitment early. They are possessive under the guise of being protective — an ugly trait in my opinion.

Why can they do this? First of all, they’re rich and handsome–and in a spicy books, they are also well-endowed.

You know who else is possessive under the guise of being protective: ABUSERS!  You know who punishes their lovers with physical violence? ABUSERS! That’s why I don’t like this fantasy.

In my opinion, the female protagonist acting spunky doesn’t change the fact, the guy is an abusive ass.  I don’t even give them a second glance after they showed me their “alpha” side.  I don’t care if they can give the female money, fame, security or whatever else it is they want. Of course, one of the reason they can act this way, because often the story line is a redemptive tale: at some point the man will change for the woman. Or worse, the woman is forced to change for the man.

Overall, these novels demonstrate the old adage that men need respect, while women want love and attention. Screw that. Real people of all genders need love, respect, attention. That’s why I don’t like this storyline.

Thirdly: As an author and a reader, it annoys me when a character is broken down to what they can give the protagonist. (Money to buy the perfect present, throbbing members, and a six pack are apparently the most common desirable traits for men.) That’s just sad… and what super-confused-guy was talking about.

The characters (and men in real life) who I find sexy are men who respect women. They are strong in their own right, they have no need to rule over anyone. Women and men are equals. Maybe they mess up, because that’s bound to happen, but I want the characters to be alive.

As an author, I write about people. I want my male characters to be more than flights of female fantasy. I want them to live and breath. And if my reader falls in love with one of them, I want you to fall for their whole selves.

lunaThat brings me to re-introducing Ian Marcus Weaver Whitlatch from The Light Side of the Moon. I’m guessing, he will never be anyone’s book boyfriend, but even if he’s not, I hope he lives in your minds…

Original character dossier

One of the chosen to go to Kipos: Ian does not go because of his parents wishes. He grows up longing for space travel and gets the chance to go to the Lunar Colony.

Family:
Mother Grace Alice Teague Weaver
Father: Royce Xavier Langly Whitlatch
No siblings. Parents had to fight infertility even to have Ian.

Status: He is a small-town doctor and a manager of a soup kitchen’s son. So his family is loved, but he is not rich. Later, he is a prison doctor.

Looks: Straight brown hair, green eyes, big nose, high forehead. Slender build, 6 ft even. Mother comments Ian has Dad’s looks, Ian is not sure if that is a compliment.

Personality: Introverted, so his friends tend to be close ones.  Kind to children.
Virtues: Idealist, romantizes space travel, democratic, believes in equality, looks to the future

Vices: Presumptuous and can be snobby

Excerpt

Ian knew he should feel pride at his achievement, but all he felt was anti-climatic nothingness. His dark suit fit him well enough, but the plain white collared shirt and black bow-tie cut off the circulation to his head. Sweating under the student gown covered with full sleeves, embroidered hood, and cap, he waited to enter the Senate House. No one spoke to him, so he pulled out his pocket-sized YRUniverse. As Ian looked around at the assembled faces of his classmates, he couldn’t find joy in the others’ accomplishments. Most made it clear a small-town doctor’s son was not worth their friendship, or even their contempt.

A notice acknowledged another press release from the Tallier Groupe. He clicked on it hoping it was about Serenitatis. Or Ivonne Tallier. He loved reading about her. The message was another mission update from the astronauts confirmed there was power being drawn into the cabling of the space elevator by the Earth’s magnetic fields.

Through the door, the Vice Chancellor of Medicinal Sciences congratulated the hard work of the graduands. The entire theater clapped politely. He slipped his YRUniverse in his pocket.

Mary glanced behind her with a nervous smile to another woman, showing her pretty white teeth. Catching Ian’s eye, she gave him an “it’s okay” signal. 

His parents hadn’t arranged a marriage for him, nor had hers. He almost asked Mary to be his wife, but she decided she wasn’t interested in him “that way” and dated another half-dozen men from their class who hadn’t interested her either. She wanted them to remain friends. They did. Sort of. It would help if her presence didn’t arouse in him the need to hold her and make her laugh.

Dad gave him rubbers–with explicit instructions to use them every time he had premarital sex— but in his four years at Oxford, he hadn’t dated anyone else. He felt tongue-tied around girls. Even when they wanted sexual relations, most of his classmates had chaperones to make sure they didn’t do anything to disrupt their organized marriages. Sometimes it felt as if he would never meet a girl. His family was too poor to be of interest to wealthy families, too wealthy for Ian to slum around the factory workers of Salisbury…

So that’s the kind of characters I like. What kinds of characters do you love or hate?

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6 responses to this post.

  1. Unfortunately, there are women out there that would loved to ‘be ravished by billionaires’. I work with a few in fact. It really is quite sad. And what’s even more sad, they aren’t ashamed of it either.

    Reply

    • I am not saying that it isn’t a common fantasy. Book scan numbers for erotica and even in the sub-genre of Billionaire BDSM are huge right now.

      My point is: I do not–and while I was not offended by the Super-Confused-Guy’s comment because of the context of our conversation–the idea that %50 of the population want this “one thing” is stupid.

      I think it’s an offshoot of a Cinderella fantasy: the charming, but in this case slightly dangerous, prince is going to take care of the average girl. Fantasy can be fantastical so I don’t think people should be ashamed. I do think like any porn: read too much of it and it can desensitize you to real life. No real husband/boyfriend can be as perfect as a book boyfriend.

      Reply

  2. This world would be a better place with more women like you in it, and if they would speak up. I have two daughters and I have to fight everyday against the media image machine to let them know they do not need to follow the herd. Thank you for speaking up.

    Reply

  3. I had to consider this myself because James is, after all, a pirate captain. Luckily Mr. Barrie also made clear that he is also a gentleman, because I needed him to be a character I could stand to spend time with. (He’s enough of a gentleman, in fact, that Vivian has to tell him directly that she would like to be ravished, much to her discomfort.)

    To me, a real alpha male would be one with enough natural authority and confidence that he wouldn’t have to resort to money and aggression and perfect abs to get what he wants. But that is the definition with which we have to work, and it’s not one I want in my leading man. Not that James is my platonic ideal alpha–his temper is too bad, for one thing–but neither is he that guy from that book. Either of them. (Ugh.)

    Reply

  4. As a man, I agree entirely with your comments vis a vis gender equality in relationships. Control and coercion are not elements of love. I’m not a romance or erotica fan either. I also try write strong independent female characters who are real are don’t swoon at the sight of a six pack…or even a throbbing member. Good post.

    Reply

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